Why You Really Can’t Fake It In Bed

The claim: If you’re faking it in bed, we won’t tell, but your partner can: New research published in theArchives of Sexual Behavior finds that your mate is pretty good at intuiting just how satisfied you are with your sex life.

The research: Researchers from the University of Waterloo in Ontario looked at 84 heterosexual long-term couples. After analyzing their responses to several questionnaires, they found that these couples were fairly good at gauging their partner’s sexual satisfaction—or lack thereof—and that men and women did equally well.

The meaning: One of the biggest indicators of accuracy here was—not surprisingly—sex talk. “Having better quality sexual communication predicted that people would be better at gauging their partner’s sexual satisfaction,” said Erin Fallis, one of the study’s researchers and a PhD student at the University of Waterloo. Fortunately, even if you’re not the best coital communicator, you can still have a more connected sex life if you’ve got other skills, like the ability to recognize emotions, she says.

The bottom line: Your sex life is exactly as good as you think it is—and your partner is probably better at knowing your feelings on the matter than you think. If you want to step things up in the sack, take a cue from Salt-N-Pepa’s early 90s hit: “Let’s Talk About Sex.” Being comfortable as a couple with sex talk is one of the best indicators of a healthy and happy sex life.