THE EF GUIDE TO SEX AND FOOD

Can you eat yourself into a rock-hard, all-night baby-making machine?  Hell, yeah. If you can munch it, hump it, sniff it or slurp it, you’ll find it here.

When you’re hungry, you eat. And when you’re horny, you get busy. These two great pleasures of man – food and sex – are both driven by basic appetite. But they also overlap in many other ways.

Think about it: the very act of eating can be sexy, because you’re reacting to the pleasurable smell, taste and texture of food. You’re also experiencing the sensations of biting and chewing with lips and a mouth that are extremely sensitive. Food and sex are even linked in the limbic system of your brain, which controls emotional activity.

Here’s the best news: by eating certain foods you can improve your sexual performance and ramp up your potency, so you can be harder, go longer and produce veritable litres of sperm with more speed and attitude than Ryan Lochte.

PERFORMANCE

Want sex? you need testosterone. This key hormone plays a significant role in sex drive and orgasm strength,

B SEXY

“Levels of testosterone can be influenced by diet, with B vitamins being one of the most important nutrients to maintain good levels,” says dietitian Lisa Simpson. “Foods rich in B include lean meat, chicken, fish, broccoli, nuts and yoghurt.”

WINK ZINC, NUDGE NUDGE

Then there’s the sexiest of all minerals: zinc. Oysters hold more

zinc than most other foods. Casanova reportedly ate up to 50 a day, but you only need three to get your zinc RDI. Try a dash of hot sauce on ‘em, too. “Capsaicin – the ‘hot’ compound in chilli – is said to release endorphins and increase pleasure,” Simpson says.

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

One of the few natural ways to boost testosterone is oatmeal. Sure, it doesn’t look too sexy, but eating oats contain L-arginine, an amino acid that enhances the effect nitric oxide has on reducing blood vessel stiffness. Like Viagra, it helps relax muscles around blood vessels in your Big Lebowski – when they dilate, blood flow increases, which means a more impressive rise in your Levi’s.

NATURE’S VIAGRA

Mother Nature can be a real bitch. But she can also be a sweetheart. Try these natural remedies to put some extra lead in your pencil:

GO FISH

The omega-3 fatty acids found in oily coldwater fish help to raise dopamine levels in the brain which can trigger arousal, says sexologist Dr Yvonne Fulbright. Fish also contain the magic blood vessel-opening amino acid L-arginine.

FENUGREEK

In a trial held at the University of QLD, study participants were given a fenugreek extract for six weeks – 66 per cent of them reported improvement in the time it took to have another erection after sex. This aromatic  plant will add a spicy punch to your curries and salads.

THINGS THAT START WITH ‘G’

“Ginger reportedly improves circulation and stimulates nerve endings,” says Simpson.

In a study at the University of California, US, gingko reversed sexual problems in 84 per cent of men who were on antidepressants. And in a Korean study, ginseng was found to help alleviate symptoms of erectile dysfunction and brought “enhanced penile tip rigidity”. Nice.

SNACK YOURSELF STUDLY

Simpson recommends pumpkin seeds. “These are loaded with omega-3 fatty acids, which stimulate blood flow to sexual organs and improve sexual function,” she says. Take some leave(s)

Spinach is a great source of magnesium, which helps dilate blood vessels. Better blood flow to the genitals means better boners.

NICE MELONS

Watermelon is rich in an amino acid called citrulline, which relaxes and dilates blood vessels much like Viagra, says researchers from Texas A&M University in the US.

AROMA-RAMA

Neurological director of the US Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation Dr Alan Hirsch found that every food aroma he tested male subjects with triggered a sexual response. Well, blokes do love their food. Dr Hirsch found the scent of cheese pizza increased “penile blood flow” by five per cent, buttered popcorn by nine per cent and lavender and pumpkin pie by a whopping 40 per cent.

For women in the same study, men’s cologne actually lowered sexual response, as did cherries and barbecue or roasting meat, while a combination of liquorice and cucumber saw the greatest increase in blood flow to the vaginal area.

MOOD-BOOSTERS

Aphrodisiacs are substances that are supposed to stimulate or intensify sexual desire. The idea has been around for yonks – back in the good old days of AD 100, the ancient Roman physician Galen of Pergamon wrote that foods worked as aphrodisiacs if they were “warm and moist”, which is understandable. Then again, he also believed that “windy” foods helped inflate the penis… While experts are iffy, we say there’s no harm in trying. Even a placebo effect is an effect, after all:

CHOCOLATE

In the 1600s, chocolate was considered such a powerful aphrodisiac, religious leaders banned monks and nuns from eating it. More recently, a study presented at the European Society for Sexual Medicine in London, found women who ate chocolate every day showed higher levels of sexual desire than non choc-munchers. So buy her a box today.

There maybe be a reason behind this: chocolate contains the chemical phenethylamine, which creates a “rush” or feeling of euphoria. It also causes the release of dopamine, which is the same chemical that is released during all sorts of highs. Note: dark chocolate contains the most.

HONEY

Research from the University Sains Malaysia found that certain properties in raw honey can boost testosterone levels. Sweet.

HORNY GOAT WEED

Also known as epimedium or yin yang huo, apparently this herb’s efficacy was discovered by a Chinese goat herder, who noticed his herd couldn’t stop humping after they ate it. Researchers from the University of Milan have concurred – they pin-pointed a compound in the plant called icariin that blocks erection-inhibiting enzymes.

MANNISH WATER

Only the brave need apply: this Jamaican goat soup made from various bits of the animal – including the head, brains and heart – along with a bunch of herbs, spices and vegies, is traditionally served to a groom on his wedding night. Mmm, nothing says romance like offal.

THINGS TO AVOID

There’s a reason why Buddhist monks eat soy – it reduces male libido. A study published in the British Journal of Nutrition found that replacing meat with tofu in a man’s diet for just four weeks can change the ratio of oestrogen and testosterone in their blood.

What’s more, eating soy can significantly reduce the concentration of sperm, according to a study from the Harvard School of Public Health, US. Avoid soy milk, miso, tofu and tempeh.

BIG FISH

Mercury has been linked to infertility. Swordfish, tuna and shark have been found to have high mercury levels. Go for omega-3 rich salmon.

CAFFEINE

Too much caffeine can also decrease sperm count – keep it to two cups per day.

BOOZE

Alcohol impairs sexual function and can decrease testosterone levels and sperm count. In women, too much alcohol can decrease dehydroepian-drosterone.(It can also decrease her ability to say dehydroepian-drosterone.) Also known as DHEA, this hormone is related to sex drive.

Booze also lowers “cuddle hormone” oxytocin – so her sense of touch will be reduced, putting a real kybosh on those moves you’ve been working on.

Also,  keep booze well away from sensitive genitals. It can sting like a mofo. Apparently.

THE ULTIMATE ORGASM MEAL PLAN

Dietitian Lisa Simpson dishes up a day-long menu that’ll have you firing on all cylinders by bedtime.

BREAKFAST

Oats with skim milk, yoghurt and a sprinkling of sunflower seeds

MORNING SNACK

A banana and a handful of walnuts

LUNCH

A wholegrain wrap with smoked salmon, baby spinach and salad vegetables

ARVO SNACK

Fruit yoghurt

DINNER

Fresh oysters tossed through wholegrain linguini with chili, garlic and basil, and a massive side of steamed greens.